Today I'm happy to be a part of the This Is Sarah blog tour! There's a really cool guest post in the form of a medical journal the main charcater Colin fills out for his doctor which will give you an idea of what he's going through. So make sure to check that out!
“When Colin Leventhal leaned out his bedroom window on the night of May 12th and said goodbye to his girlfriend, he never expected it would be forever. But when Sarah Evans goes missing that night, Colin's world unravels as he transforms from the boyfriend next door to the main police suspect. Then one year later, at her memorial service, Colin makes a phone call that could change everything. Is it possible that Sarah is still alive? And if so, how far will he go to bring her back?
As Colin struggles with this possibility, across the street, Sarah’s little sister, Claire learns how to navigate the strange new landscape of life without her sister. While her parents fall apart, Claire remains determined to keep going, even if it kills her.
THIS IS SARAH serves as a meditation on loss, love, and what it means to say goodbye.”
Character Post: Colin's Medication Journal
Patient: Colin Leventhal City/State: Clifton Falls, Colorado
Age: 17 Sex: Male
Medication: Fluvoxamine 15mg
INTRO: (In this space please detail your current medication regimen as well as recent medical history)
This is like the fifth time I’ve started this stupid thing.
Just for the record, the only reason I’m doing this is because my mother begged me.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I feel like crap. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I have a constant headache. I feel like I’m underwater all of the time. I try to eat, but it’s like something – some giant hands – throttle my throat right at that moment and absolutely no food is going down there. The other day at dinner, I chewed that steak my father made till it turned grey and then I spit it in the garbage.
Problem is, I have to eat to take these stupid pills you’re making me take which, just for the record, aren’t making me feel any better.
ARE YOU EXPERIENCING DIZZINESS/ANXIETY/NAUSEAU
IF SO WHEN?
Yeah. See above about me feeling like crap.
Pretty much every day.
PLEASE DESCRIBE IN DETAIL YOUR SLEEPING PATTERNS
Detail? Okay. I don’t sleep. When I do, I dream about Sarah. When I wake up I forget for just a second that she’s gone, that she was taken, and for just a minute my life is what it used to be and then it all comes crashing down again. Then I want to hit something until my hand breaks just to make this stop.
ARE YOU FEELING AGGRESSIVE WHEN MEDICATING?
Ask my mother how many things I’ve broken. Go ahead. Ask her.
PLEASE PLACE AN X NEXT TO ALL SYMPTOMS THAT APPLY TO YOUR CURRENT DRUG REGIMEN:
X Nausea X Dry Mouth
X Vomiting X Headaches
X Dizziness X Irritability
X Difficulty sleeping/Insomnia X Nightmares
X Palpitations __Psychosis
X Nervousness __Suicidal Thoughts
PLEASE LIST ANY ADDITIONAL NOTES HERE:
Well, I did pretty good on the list. All I got to look forward to is not being able to screw, going insane and killing myself.
DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE
PHYSICIAN’S NOTES: Patient is suffering from acute PTSD as well as OCD and depressive disorder after the disappearance and probable death of this girlfriend Sarah Evans. Possible signs of mania and aggressive behavior. MSE indicates hostile/guarded/possibly repressed rapport. Stereotypy includes repetitive clenching of jaw and fist. Mood is angry/anxious and affect varies from blunted to heightened suggesting manic-depressive swings. Thought process is steady but content hinges on obsession over missing girlfriend and possible delusions regarding her future return. Minor psychotic tendencies. During sessions patient has reference thought broadcasting and somatic passivity.
Suggested increase in Fluvoxamine dosage pending results of cognition test.
Ally Malinenko is the author of the poetry collection The Wanting Bone (Six Gallery Press)and the children's fantasy Lizzy Speare and the Cursed Tomb (Antenna Books). She lives in Brooklyn with her husband.
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